Hey Future Kim!
Long time, no see. How’re you doing? Well, I hope. I’m not too bad, but you know all too well what a crappy year it has been, so we’ll look ahead and leave it at that.
It’s that time of year again, NYE. The time of year when I present you with an unrealistic list of
demands resolutions and call on you to take care of business for me.
Now I’m gonna be honest Future Me, but in the past I’ve been disappointed with your progress (or should that be ‘lack thereof’?). Here are just a few notes from your performance review:
– Present Kim (aged 11) asked you to write a diary every day and to convince Mum to let you get a perm so you’d become a model and get to be in the Dolly magazines that you’d read at the hairdressers.
– Present Kim (aged 16) asked you to grow your fingernails and to kiss a boy (ANY boy) because you’re the only 16 year old she knew that hadn’t and frankly it’s a bit pathetic.
– Present Kim (aged 18) asked you to buckle down at uni so that you could become a world famous journalist (who would need long fingernails, so add that too) and to learn to drink beer so that boys (ANY boys) would buy you drinks, because everyone knows girls who drink beer are less high maintenance and cheaper dates. (In hindsight, you took a little too well to the beer drinking which led to you doing very badly in the buckling down. Should’ve seen that coming).
– Present Kim (aged 22) asked you to grow your fingernails (let’s just add that one in as a given. I’m 33 and still bite my nails, we can all see this is a work in progress), to lose weight and to buckle down at uni. But not to give up beer.
– Present Kim (aged 25) begged you to decide what to do with your life. Lose weight and fix your skin. You’re 25 – why do you still get pimples?!
– Present Kim (ages 28 – 32, aside from the pregnancy years) demanded you lose weight, you fat slob. Drink water and exercise. Learn to cook. GROW YOUR FINGERNAILS!
Not many successes in there, are there?
Wait, wait Future Me, don’t get upset. What I am trying to say is I’m sorry, and it’s all my fault.
I, Present Me, have every year given you a shopping list of goals and destinations, but then I have continued to carry on the same way: walk the same path and expect different results. And you start off well, but then about mid-January you lose your way for a couple of days, before finding yourself falling off the wagon and into beer, or chocolate, or shopping, and you decide there is no point even trying.
What I have realised this year, Future Me, is that you are just Present Me but a day older. If I wanna change things for Future Me, I need to make the change and do the heavy lifting. You just get to sit back and wait for it to happen. And it doesn’t start miraculously on 1 January, nor does it stop the minute I lapse.
So 2014 will have no long list of resolutions. Present Me has already started on a plan and I can’t wait for you to enjoy the benefits.
Enjoy the year off,